Warning: The Night Is Dark And Full Of Spoilers
Game of Thrones has wrapped up another season and it’s delivered some highs, some lows and even confirmed a fan theory or two. The women of Westeros are taking the power back from their male counterparts. Dany finally seems ready to make a power move. Jon has found his way back from the dead.Tyrion drinks. And knows things. And A Girl is Arya from Winterfell and she’s going home. Let’s recap each episode quickly to highlight what we’ve seen, what might’ve been missed and to talk about how beautifully done The Battle of the Bastards was.
Episode 1: The Red Woman
After 10 months of waiting where were we? Right. Theon and Sansa jumped for it and now they’re on the run. Dany is a captive of the Khalasar (again..) Tyrion is left alone with some new buddies...drinking...and Myrcella’s death is prediction number two for the Cersei, child-dying prophecy (is there life insurance in Westeros?) Starting off at Castle Black, we see Jon’s lifeless body and Davos is ready to fight. And he doesn’t get resurrected...yet. Ramsay sends his dogs after Theon and Sansa, but Brienne FINALLY gets to Sansa right in the nick of time. Arya gets beaten with a stick in some weird, Mr. Miyagi kind of setup.
Also, some people died in Dorne. What’s that all about?
Let’s just get on with bringing Jon back. We all know he’s coming back. Right? Right?!?
Episode 2: Home
Photo Via HBO
Episode 2: Home
Let’s just skip ahead to the end here. Jon’s back. Is this all that matters for this episode? We can move on, right?
Okay, so more happened: Hodor = Wyllis. And he was able to talk! Tormund shows up just in time to help fight back against the mutineers. Tyrion gets to do what all of us wish we could do: PET A FREAKIN’ DRAGON! He also lets them out of their chains like a little, miniature breaker of chains. Arya is still being blind...and broken. Turns out Ramsay doesn’t like younger brothers (hint: his fate rhymes with “breath”) Theon’s going home a man...or not.. And Davos finally asks the question we’ve all been asking which is can Melisandre bring Jon back?
WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! JON IS BACK!!!! *deep breath* YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHH!
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
Photo Via HBO
So, it turns out coming back from the dead is..complex. Jon is alive, but he’s changed a bit and let’s Davos & Melisandra know there’s nothing after death. We get to see a little bit of Sam and Gilly and he [*editor has erased this entry because it’s a snorefest*]
The Tower of Joy? Yeah. Ned stretched the truth. But there is definitely someone up in the tower in a bit of pain (*cough* R+L=J). Tyrion gets to business and finds out who invests in the Sons of the Harpy. Dany gets to Vaes Dothrak and changes clothes. She’s also got like 191 titles. King Tommen is like...the worst. The Sparrow plays him like a drum.
Rickon comes back...as a prisoner of Umber. (Poor kid. Barely got a chance. Definitely going to take an arrow to the knee.)
Wha? Why’d the Three Eyed Raven stop Bran from going up the tower? WE NEED TO KNOW!
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
Photo Via HBO
Sansa and Jon meet back up and it’s possibly one of the most touching scenes in the entire series. Not a dry eye in the house. Sansa has obviously changed into something new and convinces Jon to march on Winterfell (BATTLE OF THE BASTARDS!) Tyrion tries to wine and dine the masters. Is it going to be a success? Eh...probably not. Theon finds his way home right as the Kingsmoot is about to happen. (Did I forget to mention that his dad is murdered? Well...he was..by his brother) And lastly...The Sparrow just keeps talking and talking and talking… But honestly, he’s got to be setting up something big, right?
Dany: “I push the fire torches over.”
DM: “Roll for Fire Damage”
Dany: *Nat 20* “I rule the Khal’s now.”
Episode 5: The Door
Photo Via HBO
*walks into the office on Monday, May 23*
“Hey, could you hold the door for me?!”
*bawls uncontrollably during staff meeting*
Wow. So, it turns out that Hodor only became Hodor because in the future Bran goes to the past and tells Hodor to hold the door as they’re being chased by white walkers in the future and it turns his brain to mush in which past Hodor seizes on the ground yelling “HOLD THE DOOR” - eventually only being able to say “Hodor” for the rest of his life. *deep breath* Here’s the real question. Did Hodor know his whole life he’d eventually die to save Bran’s life? Oh...and poor Summer. This episode’s last 10 minutes are some of the most intense of the entire series. I haven’t honestly felt that crushed by a character’s (and a direwolves) death since The Red Wedding. Truly heartbreaking.
It almost overshadows a TON of other things: The Children created the White Walkers to attack men (whoops). Arya can see again! And gets a new assignment to kill an actress. Euron wins the Kingsmoot (surprise, surprise). Theon and Yara bounce. And Bran somehow gets touched by the Night King and he’s marked liked Harry Potter (which leads to the aforementioned moment up above).
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
Meera’s carrying Bran as fast as she can, while Bran downloads all the leftover information he can from the Three-Eyed Raven. Benjen comes back to save Bran (GO STARKS!) Sam goes home to see dad. Dad’s a bad guy. Sam steals a Valyrian sword. Arya finds out that she is not No One. After she poisons the actress’ drink she knocks it out of her hands and cements her decision to be Arya again...finally (GO STARKS 2.0!).
Dany is the only person that could sit on a dragon (that is...HUGE) and make me completely disinterested. Her “Rah Rah” speech just feels like the same thing we’ve heard. I found myself thinking like a child, “Are we there yet?”
And we got a surprise that not many of us were expecting. The faith and the crown have merged. I guess the High Sparrow was playing a game. And right now, it looks like he’s won. No atonement for Margery. Tommen has allowed the faith to inspire the crown. This is going to get good real soon.
Dany is like the boy who cried wolf. Are we actually going to do something now or is this another pointless speech?
Episode 7: The Broken Man
Photo Via HBO
We open to a community building a tower. Interesting choice, because GoT rarely uses cold opens (have they ever?). Looks like it was all done to keep us from seeing Rory McCann’s name in the credits because, the Hound lives! For the second time this season, we get someone who struggles with a near-death experience to find motivation upon “coming back.” It changes him, but not all the way, as we see in the final shot when he picks up the axe to avenge the deaths of this community, which we were all totally ready for.
Jon comes to Lyanna Mormont for support who promptly teaches us that all those Chuck Norris jokes you made, yeah, Chuck Norris makes Lady Mormont jokes.
And Arya gets stabbed. Like. Alot. Which starts making us a bit concerned…
Is that it? Idk. That felt like a let down…
Episode 8: No One
Skipping to the end. Arya lives. But in the most basic way possible. No real plan. She just sort of lures the Waif into the dark and gets to work. Then she tells Jaqen she’s done. Just like that? A little weak in my opinion. But at least she’s leaving. The Blackfish falls in the lamest off-screen death in the history of television. Tommen bans trial by combat (sorry Cersei) and names his own mother’s trial for the Westeros equivalent of Mother’s Day
If you’re a Brienne & Jamie shipper...sorry. It is also nice to see The Hound meeting up with the Brotherhood. With the talk of White Walkers too? Could be some very exciting material in their future.
*plays on phone*
Episode 9: The Battle of the Bastards
Photo Via HBO
So, here we have it. We’ve had two weeks of fairly weak episodes. Maybe it’s because we were all waiting for this one so much our expectations were low. Don’t get me wrong, the story moved along, but this is the one we’ve been waiting for.
Some Facts About The Penultimate Battle:
- This episode possibly cost more than any other in the history of the show.
- A total of 600 crew members, including cameramen and prop masters, were used.
- 500 extras for Jon Snow and Ramsay Bolton’s armies.
- The episode also used 70 horses, 160 tons of gravel, 25 stuntmen, and four camera crews.
- The battle scene alone took 25 days to shoot. Typically, an hour-long TV drama just takes eight to 12 days to shoot.
Do you remember seeing Saving Private Ryan’s opening scenes for the first time? The terror. The confusion. The fog of war. This battle was on that level and I have never watched a more intense hour of television. I honestly don’t know how the director pulled off some of the things he did, but this was stunning.
RIP Rickon. Did he ever have a line in the show? Jon fell right into what Ramsay wanted. Showing us once again that the Starks are so loyal that it might lead to their demise. During the battle, we see thousands fall. The parallels to the Battle of Cannae is stunning. And the whole time we are just waiting for Jon to fall and never make it back up.
Dany gets some facetime in an episode I didn’t expect. She meets Yara & Theon who offer ships to cross Westeros. Mereen has been under attack for an episode or two, but Dany FINALLY pulls out the dragons to show that she means business.
Game of Thrones has been known to pull us through to the end and not give us a satisfying ending. We never truly expect our heroes to make it out alive and it’s caused everyone to watch this show a little more carefully. But when the Stark banners were unfolded, I think we all had a collective sigh. It’s been 6 seasons and the Starks might just make it out alive. It’s about this time that this series pulls the rug out from underneath us...
*jaw drop 2.0*
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Let’s power through this one, because we could be here all day:
- Loras has his trial. He confesses. All is good. And then Cersei promptly burns the Sept to the ground annihilating the faith and the future of House Tyrell.
- Tommen shows us exactly why it’s called “Kings Landing” and Cersei’s “child dying prophecy” comes to fruition. What does she have left? It’s going to be madness.
- Oh, that’s why we had those Dorne deaths back in the beginning. Okay. So the Tyrells and Dorne women have teamed up with Dany. Got it. More firepower!
- Walder Pies And Arya Knives. Can that catch on? Walder Frey is out of the picture. The Stark’s send their regards.
- Sam and Gilly make it to the Citadel and my lord is that a lot of books..
- Lady Mormont (again...10 years old…) asks a bunch of grown men that she never wavered her honor to the Stark’s, so why did they? Lady Mormont For President.
- The closing images show us Dany’s fleet crossing the sea. With only 13 episodes left in the series, we might get some very intense battle sequences for the next two seasons.
- ….oh, and Melisandre was sent packing. I was actually very satisfied to see that happen after what happened to Shereen.
Only 10 months to go until the next episode..
“Calling All Bannermen and Women!”
We know that Wichita has a great geek community and we want to talk about it! Have an event? Something cool you’d like to share? Let us know about it so we can talk about it! Email me at email@example.com about anything gaming, comic, hobby and pop culture. I can’t wait to hear from you!